"Everyone, at some point, faces the collapse of their own constructed purpose. The career that defined them ends. The love that gave them direction fades. The identity they built crumbles under the weight of time and change. When the structure dissolves, we are left with the same absurdity Sisyphus knew, the universe does not care, and it never did."
I'm an American and my wife is from Thailand. When our daughter was young, she started attempting some calculations: "I'm 50% American and 50% Thai. Except Mom's mom is part Chinese, so that makes me 1/8 Chinese..." I put a halt to that in a hurry, because I've known adults who try to understand themselves in such terms, and some of them undergo weekly psychiatric counseling.
"You're figuring this wrong. You're 100% American. You have a US passport, family, you speak fluent English, you go to school here... whatever it means to be 'American,' you're it, and we have to adjust that definition to make sure it includes you. You're also 100% Thai, for the same reasons-- Thai citizenship, family, you speak that language, you've gone to school there too, and so on. Whatever we mean by that word 'Thai,' the word has to include you. You are Jade first. Whatever it means to be American or Thai, those are secondary: first you are Jade, and the rest of us will simply have to adjust our vocabularies accordingly." That conversation was a long time ago, and she's grown up into a rock-solid adult.
I say if someone is defining themselves by a career or their relationships or any other (to use your term) constructed purpose, they are setting themselves up for a great deal of suffering. Whatever we mean by words such as 'airline pilot' or 'banker' or even 'Marine,' you are you first and we have to we have to tweak those definitions to include you. We don't tweak you to fit within the definitions.
Absolutely! Definitions provide us peace and structure but instead of adjusting ourselves to fit the definition it makes more sense to adjust the definition to include us. Love this so much
"Everyone, at some point, faces the collapse of their own constructed purpose. The career that defined them ends. The love that gave them direction fades. The identity they built crumbles under the weight of time and change. When the structure dissolves, we are left with the same absurdity Sisyphus knew, the universe does not care, and it never did."
I'm an American and my wife is from Thailand. When our daughter was young, she started attempting some calculations: "I'm 50% American and 50% Thai. Except Mom's mom is part Chinese, so that makes me 1/8 Chinese..." I put a halt to that in a hurry, because I've known adults who try to understand themselves in such terms, and some of them undergo weekly psychiatric counseling.
"You're figuring this wrong. You're 100% American. You have a US passport, family, you speak fluent English, you go to school here... whatever it means to be 'American,' you're it, and we have to adjust that definition to make sure it includes you. You're also 100% Thai, for the same reasons-- Thai citizenship, family, you speak that language, you've gone to school there too, and so on. Whatever we mean by that word 'Thai,' the word has to include you. You are Jade first. Whatever it means to be American or Thai, those are secondary: first you are Jade, and the rest of us will simply have to adjust our vocabularies accordingly." That conversation was a long time ago, and she's grown up into a rock-solid adult.
I say if someone is defining themselves by a career or their relationships or any other (to use your term) constructed purpose, they are setting themselves up for a great deal of suffering. Whatever we mean by words such as 'airline pilot' or 'banker' or even 'Marine,' you are you first and we have to we have to tweak those definitions to include you. We don't tweak you to fit within the definitions.
Absolutely! Definitions provide us peace and structure but instead of adjusting ourselves to fit the definition it makes more sense to adjust the definition to include us. Love this so much
‘Not because it matters. But because we decide that it does.’ The choice is crucial
Such hard and beautiful truth, Josh. Man.