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Bj's avatar

Every word of Borrowed Time hit me like a brick. I once had a counselor ask what makes me happy. So I would share an answer, which was met with ‘no, that’s a role you fill for someone else’, or ‘no that is their happiness that you are a part of’. What makes YOU happy. A profoundly simple question that I couldn’t answer.

Every moment from before I could remember was for those around me. Taking care of siblings, of parents that were too drug addled to care for themselves, of Marines whose lives were my responsibility to protect and to mold, of spouses and children that I had to do the same with.

I still don’t know who or what I am for me. If I’m being honest I don’t even know how to go about figuring it out or if I want to. Being for others is my comfort zone, being for me is terrifying to even think about

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J. Hughes 🏴‍☠️'s avatar

You are you, and that is enough. No reason to justify to anyone or anything what your happiness is. Altruistic tendencies of helping others before self isn’t a curse, until you let yourself wither down.

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Bj's avatar

That has been the problem, their needs or wants above my own. Not as authentic as I hoped I suppose but it’s a work in progress ❤️

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J. Hughes 🏴‍☠️'s avatar

Aren't we all just a work in progress? I'd say we've done a pretty damn good job, considering the road that got us here. Damn near 20 years ago, we were sitting on a busted ass futon planning our next pool hall adventure. Now look at us, the coolest 'grumpy old men' on the block. 🏴‍☠️

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Bj's avatar

❤️ yes sir…damn…20 years..

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