I had something a little bit like this happen to me in Kandahar. I was the new guy on a team of half a dozen guys, living in a safe house downtown. Not only was I the new guy, I was from a different continent and I didn't have anything like the qualifications that these guys had. (Any of them would have adapted rather easily to operating on your team; let's put it that way.) But I showed up, put team & mission first, and constantly looked for ways to make myself useful. Slowly we figured out where to fit me in.
Several months into this, I was told that there'd been some jokes behind my back made at my expense because, allegedly, I drove rather slow. "Driving Miss Daisy" is what riding with me was like. Had we been race car drivers, maybe I'd have cared. Rather, we were moving unarmored and low-profile throughout the province, meeting with elders in their villages and evading the Taliban. No protective details, air support, or QRF. I shrugged off the criticism about my driving, because some criticism just isn't valid.
Later we were having one of those late night rooftop gatherings that were so common in Kandahar. It was the six of us and one guy from a different company with whom we had to discuss some serious business. We wanted to make a good impression. The whiskey came out, but I didn't have any because I didn't drink at all in those days-- one more way in which I was the odd man out. One of our guys said to our guest, "Alamanak doesn't drink, and that's okay." I can't express the undertone to his comment, but it signaled, with chilling clarity: Alamanak has this group's deep respect and you, guest, would be wise to respect him as well. That was a humbling moment that I won't forget.
My time on that team ended up being one of the really important periods of my life. I learned so much from them, both professionally and personally, that it turned the course of my life to a new, better direction. My point being, I listened to these guys and I learned from them. But one also has to be able to distinguish good criticism from bad. Today, I still don't drive any differently.
Who can’t relate to these words? Wise and insightful. I’m going to sit with them awhile so they go deep.
I had something a little bit like this happen to me in Kandahar. I was the new guy on a team of half a dozen guys, living in a safe house downtown. Not only was I the new guy, I was from a different continent and I didn't have anything like the qualifications that these guys had. (Any of them would have adapted rather easily to operating on your team; let's put it that way.) But I showed up, put team & mission first, and constantly looked for ways to make myself useful. Slowly we figured out where to fit me in.
Several months into this, I was told that there'd been some jokes behind my back made at my expense because, allegedly, I drove rather slow. "Driving Miss Daisy" is what riding with me was like. Had we been race car drivers, maybe I'd have cared. Rather, we were moving unarmored and low-profile throughout the province, meeting with elders in their villages and evading the Taliban. No protective details, air support, or QRF. I shrugged off the criticism about my driving, because some criticism just isn't valid.
Later we were having one of those late night rooftop gatherings that were so common in Kandahar. It was the six of us and one guy from a different company with whom we had to discuss some serious business. We wanted to make a good impression. The whiskey came out, but I didn't have any because I didn't drink at all in those days-- one more way in which I was the odd man out. One of our guys said to our guest, "Alamanak doesn't drink, and that's okay." I can't express the undertone to his comment, but it signaled, with chilling clarity: Alamanak has this group's deep respect and you, guest, would be wise to respect him as well. That was a humbling moment that I won't forget.
My time on that team ended up being one of the really important periods of my life. I learned so much from them, both professionally and personally, that it turned the course of my life to a new, better direction. My point being, I listened to these guys and I learned from them. But one also has to be able to distinguish good criticism from bad. Today, I still don't drive any differently.